you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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