So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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