Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
