I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
