elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize