wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i think i just lost a toe
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
