I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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