btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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