im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
