It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
