WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
