Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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