I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
