no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
