she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The air taste purple.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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