Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
