It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
