so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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