I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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