ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
