I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Found the puke drawer
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
