Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
