Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
