careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
