the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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