Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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