I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize