my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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