Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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