Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
