it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
