morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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