Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
