fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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