Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
