you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
