I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
