We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
