all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
