They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
