So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
