i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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