No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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