We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
