he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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