Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
