you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
