And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just want to make out with him forever
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm really busy with my period
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