She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
