You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
