Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
