True but thats because hes a fetus.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
