Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
