You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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