You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
