So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
