dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Don't make out with my wife yet
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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