but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
