office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize